Go on, be honest. Which of the following images do you think the media is more likely to use to accompany an article on online dating? We are all living decades longer than we once did, and are staying fitter, healthier and in some cases, friskier further into our wisdom years than ever before. At the same time, more older adults over 55 find themselves single and looking, either through divorce or the tragic loss of a husband or wife they loved for many years.
This means that there are more seniors and baby boomers than ever before looking for some companionship to fill the void of their prior partner. Because no matter how old you get, one thing about human nature never changes: nobody likes feeling lonely.
Young people are incredibly age-prejudiced, to such an extent that age is one of the most important filter criteria used to find a match on online dating sites. Just check out the image to the right from Match.
This scenario is not just on Match. The filtering mechanisms on these dating sites similarly emphasize the importance age takes in the minds of young match-seekers, with all users asked to specify the age range they are seeking, with many choosing ridiculously narrow ranges e.
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Far more important is what shape you are in, how healthy you are, and what activities you can do. Adults over 55 are far more flexible in their approach to companionship.
Part of this is probably the wisdom that comes with age, but even more ificant is an essential truth about how age works. Once you get into your fifties and beyond, the actual of your age becomes less and less ificant. Far more important is what shape you are in, how healthy you are, what activities you can do. On the other hand, the year old woman who has had past back problems and likes to stay in with wine and movies might be a great match for that year-old man.
The other stunning aspect of dating for young people is how much looks matter.
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The hottest online dating app for young people today is Tinderwhich proudly claims to be matching over million love-seekers daily. Take a quick look at the Tinder user interface to the left. What stands out as the most important aspect of a person when determining if you may be a potential match?
With Tinder and pretty much every other online dating system on the market today the photo is all-important. This reinforces a message that young people get hammered with on a daily basis: nothing matters more than how you look. Maybe this is because older adults are wise enough to know that looks have very little to do with whether someone is going to be a kind, loving and caring companion.
One thing we have been struck with has been the important role that dinner plays in the social or not-so-social lives of most older adults. Nobody likes the idea of spending years cooking for themselves and eating alone. And always being the lone single person when your married friends want to catch up for dinner starts to become a little tiresome.
More than any other activity, dinner is where older adults feel the isolation of being alone most strongly. This is why, for most older adults, a dinner date is the most important first step towards finding companionship. This makes quite a comparison to how many young people organize their first dates, which usually involve meeting up in a bar.
The fundamental premise behind most dating services for young people is that the ultimate goal is to find love and marriage. While this is true for some older adults, it is far from universal.
Many seniors really are looking for companionship and nothing more. Some are seeking someone to have dinner with, some are looking for someone to travel with them, others are looking for someone to share their favorite activities. For many people at this stage, that is enough.
There is an entire spectrum of dating that goes far beyond the marriage-oriented online dating services available Hot older women want dating parties. Many older adults have multiple needs for companionship. Sure, some are focused only on finding that single life partner who will give them a loving relationship for the next few decades. But just as many are actually seeking multiple companions to fit in with their varied social needs.
A recognition that most older adults are prepared for the fact that no single person may be the solution to all their social needs, that they may be just as well served by multiple companions. Far more than their younger counterparts, older adults feel much more comfortable evaluating a potential match in the real world instead of online. All the Millennials out there are shaking their he, wondering why on earth anyone would like to talk on the phone when they can instant message instead.
And that sums up the generation gap in a nutshell … recent studies show that young adults are three times as likely to prefer to text than talk via the phone, the complete opposite of their older counterparts. One of our favorite lines comes from a Huffington Post article on this very subject :. Ask your grandparents about it. Yes, trust is important to everyone, no matter how old they are. But for a retiree on a fixed income, who has heard countless stories of peers being taken advantage of both online and in the real world, trust takes on a special ificance. Or, as we have been often asked by older women considering prospective male companions: are they truly looking for companionship, or someone to nurse them through their later years?
Stitch Update: the more we talk to the people registering for Stitch, the more we have come to understand how important the issue of trust is and how absent it is in most online dating sites today. One thing that many dating services have in common is using fancy algorithms to help you find a partner based on a dazzling array of filters you provide them.
Younger people can be zealous about the rules they impose on potential partners. The profile selection from Match.
The online dating sites which market themselves as being for 55 and older are simply re-branded versions of dating sites for younger adults. This blog is spot on. Keep it up! Thanks Ric! Age does matter…a lot! When I was 51, I married my year-old Knight in Shining Armor and immediately had a midlife pregnancy scare. We lived incredibly happily ever after for 22 years until he died 2 years ago. They explain by saying they are younger than their age.
What does that even mean?!? Before investing another dime, I need to know how and if Stitch will address the mismatch? Do you have a hidden stash of active year old men who are seeking year-old companions? Or is it something information and eduction can address? Well said Jasmine! Particularly for those seeking companionship rather than romance … I have many friends in the Stitch community who are 20 years my senior, while there is no way I could have said the same when I was Older men who want to find a young woman have plenty of other sites they can go to who cater to that.
The ones who are attracted to Stitch us because they are looking for real people, shared interests and conversation just as much as any physical attraction. Thanks, Andrew! Good grief! You are incorrect. I am attractive, 65, with health problems. All the men have health problems. My husband had prostate cancer. Because he is 73 ,impotent, every lady in FL. It seems, Andrew, that Stitch is catering to older women who are looking for younger men. And, I see a lot of that on the dating sites I am on.
Many older women looking for younger men — but reality is that most men are not looking for older women.
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Most men still want a younger woman — maybe 5 years younger, and someone that is at least somewhat physically attractive. And, while companionship is great, you can a local social club for companionship. They are everywhere.